


with drowsy head and folded wing (honey, i'm home)

by gglow



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Hospital, M/M, Masturbation, Poems, Wet Dream, edgar allan poe - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 13:45:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4481492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gglow/pseuds/gglow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Wow these beds are really comfy, have you tried ‘em? I bet you’ve tried ‘em. S’like laying on a cloud…” a soft voice rose from the bottom of the bed, going on and on about nothing, really. Things that didn’t make any sense.</p><p>Harry turned his head toward the new bed, but he only saw a brown fringe poking out of the sheets. That was, until the person laying in the bed moved his head to Harry’s side. Suddenly, he was staring into the bluest eyes he had ever seen, staring back at him but constantly losing focus. The guy was about Harry’s age, his brown hair was messy and his tattooed, dainty hand was lying on the rail of the bed. He was all around tan and his cheekbones made his face look like a sculpture (or that could’ve been the dim lighting, probably not, though). For a moment Harry forgot how to breathe. God bless this hospital for bringing Aphrodite’s surfer son next to Harry.</p><p>- or the one where Harry and Louis share the same hospital room for two weeks and things happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	with drowsy head and folded wing (honey, i'm home)

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to my native-english-speaker-caroline for reading this through and fixing grammar and telling me what to do when i didnt know how to do it. ily and i hope to see you soon even though you live on the other side of the world
> 
> now, disclaimer
> 
> i know absolutely everything about this band and its internal issues i have 100% true facts that this story actually happened in real life aha
> 
> jk no real talk i dont know anything about anyone anywhere this story is a complete work of fiction any similarities to real life events are completely incidental okok and leggo

The hospital’s fluorescent lights were dim, making the room look like it was viewed through a pair of darkened glasses. There were distant steps and muffled voices somewhere behind the white door on his left. The soft sheets covered Harry’s body lying in the hospital bed.

 

His head felt heavy, eyelids like lead – who would’ve known lying in bed all day would be so exhausting? His thoughts moved slowly and vaguely in his head, forming no coherent prospects whatsoever. His surgical wound burned.

 

This was his first full day in the hospital; yesterday morning he had, quite bravely he might add, marched into the tall building. They had escorted him to the officious doctor who had discussed with him the day before that and now was all ready to perform the planned surgery on him. Approximately eight hours later Harry had woken up in a recovery room, covered in different tubes and devices with no memory of the past day. That was sick. They told him the first 24 hours after the surgery were always the most critical, even though the surgery had been successful, and so they kept him in a supervised room by himself the whole night and the next day.

 

That afternoon they had moved him into the ward for the next seven to ten days of his recovery, and told him that his rehabilitation would begin the next day. They had recommended him to take this day just for relaxing and recovering, no guests allowed yet. So that was a little bit boring.

 

So now he was just about to doze off, when the room’s door opened and two nurses came in steering a hospital bed. Harry parted his eyelids to sneak a peek. Wheels screeching they parked it on the other bed spot of that room on Harry’s right, his eyes followed them.

 

“Wow these beds are _really_ comfy, have you tried ‘em? I bet you’ve tried ‘em. S’like laying on a cloud…” a soft voice rose from the bottom of the bed, going on and on about nothing, really. Things that didn’t make any sense.

 

Harry turned his head toward the new bed, but he only saw a brown fringe poking out of the sheets. That was, until the person laying in the bed moved his head to Harry’s side. Suddenly, he was staring into the bluest eyes he had ever seen, staring back at him but constantly losing focus. The guy was about Harry’s age, his brown hair was messy and his tattooed, dainty hand was lying on the rail of the bed. He was all around tan and his cheekbones made his face look like a sculpture (or that could’ve been the dim lighting, probably not, though). For a moment Harry forgot how to breathe. God bless this hospital for bringing Aphrodite’s surfer son next to Harry.

 

The guy frowned his curved eyebrows and opened his mouth, still looking at Harry: “Your hair looks funny”. Oh. Harry tried to look at his hair, but he only saw some brown tresses in the corners of his vision.

 

“It’s curly. It looks like it’s made of chocolate. Is it made of chocolate? Ohhh please let it be made out of chocolate!” The guy’s eyes were shining, he seemed like a child trapped in Adonis’ body.

 

“Um, no?” Harry answered hesitantly, clearing his throat.

 

“We’re sorry Mr. Styles, our recovery rooms were all packed so we started to move the patients awake to the wards. He’s still under heavy anesthesia, the ordinary sleep medication is taking its time to kick in so he’s… a bit disoriented”, one of the nurses said with regret. Harry just nodded.

 

“Who’reya callin dis… dis–whatever”, the guy slurred and turned his head back to Harry. “You’re really pretty, those plump cherry lips of yours, vanilla cheeks and hair made of chocolate… you’re like a sundae. I like sundaes, so I guess… I like you too then”, he mumbled slowly. Harry could feel the red rising up to his neck and cheeks.

 

When he didn’t answer the guy continued: “M’Louis”. His eyelids were already closing, but he struggled to keep them open.

 

 

“M’Harry”, Harry said.

 

 

“Harreh…” Louis mumbled before turning back to the nurses, who were just about to leave the room. “You know what? Harry here s’reaaallllly pretty, m’gonna marry ‘im”, he slurred. The other nurse just smiled and nodded, adjusting Louis’ pillow and blanket: “I’m sure you are”.

 

Louis closed his eyes: “You just wait and see”.

 

°°°

 

The next morning Harry was flipping through channels on the TV when he heard a groan from the other bed. In the corner of his eye he saw Louis stretching, but suddenly wincing and bringing his arms back to his body. Harry turned to look at him.

 

Louis looked at Harry. “Good morning”, he said, blinking expressionless. He was really really fucking gorgeous. The morning light hitting his cheekbones and hair just in the right angle (was there a wrong angle for this face?). Harry felt his heart jump, and tried to calm himself. Relax.

 

“Morning”, he said and saw Louis measuring him with his eyes. He returned his gaze back to the TV, Bob’s Burgers was on.

 

“Um, who are you, if I may ask?” Louis murmured, sounding clueless. He had returned his eyes back to Harry’s face which made him wonder if he looked as much like ice cream as the night before.

 

“M’Harry”, Harry said.

 

“Nice to meet you Harry, I’m–”

 

“Louis, likewise”, Harry looked back at Louis, whose pretty mouth was open in surprise. Harry had always wanted to do that. Brilliant. “How’d y–”

 

“The more formal introductions were held yesterday, I suppose you have no memory of that, though”, Harry couldn’t control his grin.

 

“Oh… _oh_ ”, Louis’ lips formed the prettiest “o”. “Did I say something embarrassing? Please tell me I didn’t say anything embarrassing”.

 

“Um, well you me I was ‘pretty as a sundae’ and that you were going to marry me”, Harry quoted. Louis squeezed his eyes shut before opening them again.

 

“I’m sorry I was uh– under some heavy medication… although that doesn’t sound very far from reality”, he lifted his eyebrows, scanning Harry’s face.

 

Harry blushed. “Are you– are you _flirting_ with me?” he frowned at Louis, although deep down he was flattered.

 

“Mind if I am?” Louis asked. No. Actually, no. Harry didn’t mind. At all.

 

Instead of saying that, he settled for a light shake of his head.

 

An hour later a man in a white coat knocked on the door and entered. He smiled to both of them and raised the clipboard he was holding. He was tall and clearly muscular with a beard.

 

“Good morning, I’m Doctor Liam Payne and I’ve come to see how you two are feeling today. First, Mr. Styles… let me see–” he smiled at Harry and flipped a page. “Firstly; how are you doing?”

 

“M’fine thanks”, Harry answered, the doctor seemed friendly.

 

“Any major pains? Chestpains? Headache? Anything at all?”

 

“Um, no, I don’t think so”.

 

“Brilliant, your first rehabilitation is scheduled for 10 am, a nurse will pick you up. The surgery was a success, all your test results are looking good…” he scribbled something onto the bottom of the page. “Now let’s just hope the rehabilitation goes well. You’ll to be on your feet before you know it!” Liam smiled wider this time with his straight white teeth and nodded at Harry before walking up to Louis.

 

Harry looked at Louis, he seemed a bit… scared? What for?

 

“Mr. Tomlinson, how are you feeling?” The doctor asked and smiled again.

 

“Good, I guess”, Louis bit his lip.

 

“Any major pains?”

 

“Well, my chest feels like m’stabbed every time I cough or laugh, does that count?” Louis said a bit sarcastically. Harry frowned.

 

“Yes, that is the downside of your… condition–” Liam started and Harry could swear he heard Louis mumbling _are there any good sides_ under his breath. “...But I will tell the nurse to slightly increase your pain medication. As to your operation we got most of the–”

 

“ _Most of_?” Louis blinked.

 

“...Unfortunately your blood didn’t respond to our sleep medication as well as we hoped making your blood a bit thinner, so we couldn’t complete the operation as planned, however we have already scheduled you a new operation for next Friday–”

 

“ _Next Friday?_ S’almost two weeks!” Louis raised his voice, he was clearly pissed. Harry felt sorry for the doctor.

 

“Yes, but you see we have very urgent cases and the operating rooms are fully booked, you are very lucky to have had a time at such a short notice I–”

 

“ _I?_ Am very _lucky?_ I got the time in a short time frame because you dimwits fucked up my surgery!” Louis raised his upper body from the bed supporting himself with his elbows, grimacing.

 

“ _Mr. Tomlinson._ As your doctor I advise you to stay calm, for I cannot get your operation to be moved to a sooner point of time and there’s nothing you can do about it, either”, Liam took a deep breath, turned to Harry and smiled, then he turned to Louis with the same smile. “For you, I wish a good day”. With those words he walked out the door.

 

“Arsehole”, Louis muttered half aloud.

 

It was quiet for a bit. Then Harry opened his mouth: “M’sorry”. Louis cocked his head and looked at Harry. “What? Oh, yeah, no… s’not your fault”.

 

“Yeah, but like, still, it sucks. ‘Cause s’not your fault either”, Harry shrugged.

 

Louis looked at him for a bit. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Thanks”.

 

“What would you have them do? I mean, the surgery”, Harry looked at Louis’ hair, it looked soft. Louis looked soft. Even though he was full of sass and snarky comebacks, somehow, lying on that hospital bed he looked kind of small and dainty. Like a fairy. But like a hot fairy. Hm.

 

“Oh, s’my ribs. I broke several in a football game”, Louis almost smirked.

 

“Supported for the wrong team or?”

 

Louis gave a little, careful, laugh and shook his head no. “I was playing, and uh, m’not quite sure of what happened but like… I had the ball, but then I was tackled, apparently– and I fell and lots of guys fell on top of me and some guys shoe kicked me on the ribs”.

 

“Ohh, that sounds painful”, Harry frowned.

 

“Yeah, but that wasn’t the end of it. I got up and the ref gave me a red card, and when I protested, the guy who tackled me came up to me and started bitching so I kicked him–”

 

“ _You did not_ ”, Harry blurted in disbelief.

 

A smile rose on Louis’ lips. “I did too, and um… yeah now m’here so uh, guess s’my own fault, really”.

 

Harry smiled wide and shook his head. Then he leaned back to the bed and turned his head to Louis, still smiling. Was that– was Louis _blushing?_ Because of _Harry?_

 

“So, why are you here?” Louis turned to Harry as well as he could with his broken ribs.

 

“Open heart surgery”, Harry bit his lip, the wound on his chest felt hot.

 

Louis frowned. “What? Why? Oh my god–”

 

“Yeah they said I had too big of a heart so they replaced it with a smaller one”.

 

Louis’ eyes widened and Harry laughed out loud. “Just kidding, I’ve had a heart condition since I was born, but somehow it was too risky to operate before I was 21 and it wasn’t very lethal so… here I am”, he motioned his hand between him and the hospital walls.

 

“Oh, okay. Yeah… oh”, Louis’ face scrunched up a bit as he processed the information. He was really pretty. That shouldn’t be legal, oh no.

 

It was silent for a little while.

 

Harry opened his mouth: “Knock knock”.

 

Louis looked at him like he’d lost his mind. “Who’s there?”

 

“A cow goes…” Harry could barely hold back his smile, scanning at Louis’ face.

 

“A cow goes… who?” Louis repeated looking hesitant to say at least.

 

“No, a cow goes moo”, Harry grinned.

 

Louis blinked and frowned. “That was, that was just awful”.

 

Harry bursted into laughter and could hear Louis laughing, carefully, too. “Okay, sorry, here’s another one–”. _Do I want to hear this_ Louis murmured under his breath but let Harry speak anyway.

 

“Why can’t the flower ride its bike?”

 

“Why?”

 

“‘Cause its petals fell off”.

 

Louis laughed again. His laugh was like glass, high pitched and fragile. It was almost as pretty as Louis himself, almost. “That’s terrible, Harry”.

 

“No wait, I’ve got more”, Harry smiled so wide his cheeks hurt. “Why did the baboon say to the giraffe ‘Why the long face?’”

 

“Why?”

 

“‘Cause it thought his neck was his face”.

 

Louis shook his head. “You need to stop, that’s the worst joke I’ve ever heard”, he said, still smiling.

 

“What, do you not appreciate my highly practiced skill of joke telling?” Harry tried to sound offended, but the grin setting on his face made it impossible to pull out.

 

“No. Absolutely not one bit”, Louis laughed, but when he looked at Harry, his eyes sparkled.

 

°°°

 

The next day they got to have visitors. They found out when there was a knock on the door and a fucking Greek god stepped into the room. Okay, but like, the guy was better than every Calvin Klein ad Harry had ever seen; he was thin, with a thick black hair styled up, long eyelashes, black skinny jeans and a _great_ jawline. Fucking hell.

 

“Zayn!” Louis exclaimed and grinned wider than Harry had ever seen.

 

“Lou! How’re you feelin’ there mate?” the man strode across the room to Louis and hugged him gently. Were they like…? 

 

“Zayn, this is Harry”, Louis motioned toward Harry, he smiled and tried to look friendly but also vaguely intimidating in case he was facing competition from that direction. Not that he could _actually_ ever compete with this Zayn guy, he was like insanely attractive.

 

“Hiya, m’Zayn”, said Zayn and smiled wide. Gorgeous. Frick.

 

“M’Harry”, said Harry and cleared his throat. “So you’re…?”

 

“A friend of Louis’”, said Zayn and nodded. _Good._

 

“So? What’re everyone saying? How’s the practise? What did Paul say?” Louis jumped in wanting to know everything Zayn had to tell and looked ready to suck in information like a sponge.

 

“Well, Paul is pretty pissed at you for getting his star player to the hospital–” Louis turned to Harry triumphantly and said: “That’s me, I’m the star player”. Harry just nodded, impressed. Zayn continued to tell Louis about places and people that Harry didn’t understand.

 

Approximately ten minutes later, without knocking, a guy with a messy blonde hair, wearing a white t-shirt and blue jeans bursted in. “Harry! How’re ya buddy? You can’t believe I just talked to this guy, he was so _fucking_ gorgeous like you can’t imagine he was all dark and fit and I’m there like fucking date me already he’s–” Niall glanced at Louis and Zayn, who had both stopped talking and were now looking at Niall, and he froze. Right there, in the middle of a sentence. Silence fell into the room as no one spoke a word. Some noises came from the other side of the door but faded away quickly. Harry could literally see the life draining out of Niall. “...Here”.

 

“Why thanks mate you’re not too bad yourself”, Zayn said to Niall and _winked._

 

Niall just stood there, pale as a dead body, which was possibly the state he currently wanted to be in. His mouth was half open and his blue eyes were wide.

 

Harry blinked. “Niall? Did you bring me anything?” he asked, and Niall turned to him, eyes still wide. “What?”

 

“I asked, if you brought me anything”, Harry kept the eye contact with Niall. He looked like a deer in the headlights.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry, um, I uh… here”, he started fumbling with his bag and Louis and Zayn fell back into a conversation. Niall handed Harry a rustling bag of Doritos, a few of Cadbury Brunch Bars and a Dr. Pepper.

 

“Oh my _god_ ”, Niall hissed, face now red as a fire truck.

 

“Come on, they said I should have some exercise, walk with me to the parlour”, Harry grunted as he slowly pushed himself off the bed. It was good to feel the ground beneath his feet and he stuck them to the hideous hospital shoes by his bed. The air outside the bed was chilly.

 

Niall helped Harry up and they made their way out the door, Harry walking slowly and Niall walking beside him towards the parlour nearby. Harry looked at his green hospital clothes in despair.

 

“I had no fucking idea he was there, oh my god, now he thinks I’m such an idiot for fuck’s sake”, Niall shook his head.

 

“You’re right, though”, Harry said.

 

“What?”

 

“He is hot”.

 

“Oh! Yeah, right”.

 

“So, what are you gonna do?”

 

“I don’t know!”

 

“You should get his number”.

 

“I can’t do that!”

 

“Why not?”

 

“I literally said I want to date him _right in front of him_ ”.

 

“Well what reason else would you even ask him for his number in the first place?”.

 

“Piss off”.

 

They reached the parlour and Harry sat down in the first chair he saw. The space was big with large windows and lots of armchairs and couches. There was a TV on one wall, and the radio was on. Wild flowers were placed around the space in different vases. It was nice.

 

On the wall next to Harry there was a bulletin board with several colorful papers pinned on it; phone numbers, lost dogs, event leaflets. One purple paper with big letters said _POETRY NIGHT_ , that caught Harry’s attention. _Poetry night in the parlour of the hospital’s west wing at 6 pm. Poetry reading and discussion, all patients welcome._ It was in six days.

 

“So, how are you feeling?” Niall drew Harry back from his thoughts after a minute of silence.

 

“Oh, m’good, yeah. The surgery went well and I had my first rehabilitation today. I’ll be up and going in a week or so”, Harry smiled.

 

“But that’s fantastic, mate! Absolutely brilliant!” Niall laughed out loud and disheveled Harry’s hair.

 

Niall was great.

 

Half an hour later they returned to Harry’s room and he shuffled back to his bed. Enough exercise for the day, he thought. Louis and Zayn were still there, but Zayn was just about to leave.

 

“Was great seeing you, come again soon?” Louis said to Zayn, smiling.

 

“Yeah yeah ‘course mate, as soon as I can”, Zayn nodded and smiled back. He started to make his way out, stopping next to Niall. “And, uhm, if you get your tongue back, maybe you could give me a call, yeah?” he handed Niall a piece of paper, smiled at Harry and left.

 

°°°

 

The next day was quiet. Harry read, mostly, and watched Louis sleep. He had had his rehabilitation again and was just glad to stay in bed for the rest of the day. Who would've thought that walking for fifteen minutes would be so utterly exhausting?

 

While Harry had been out getting some exercise, Louis had been sleeping all day. He didn’t snore or anything, it was more like occasional snuffling which, Harry thought to himself, was exceedingly adorable. Louis’ eyelashes quivered, his thin lips were parted and he just looked so fragile, laying there. Harry sighed, he wished Louis could sleep in his arms.

 

The door opened and a nurse brought in trays, one for each. He placed them on the moveable nightstands and Harry thanked him. The nurse smiled in return and left.

 

“Louis”, Harry said quietly.No response. “Lou”, he tried a bit louder, apparently Louis was a heavy sleeper. “Wake up, s’dinner time”. Now Louis made a little noise in protest, he was like a kitten, so fluffy. “Lou, wake up or you’re gonna miss it”.

 

“Mhnot hungry…” Louis mumbled from the bottom of his bunk and rubbed his face with his tiny hand.

 

“Louis Tomlinson, you have to eat something”.

 

“No I don’t, _mom_ ”, he said and pulled his blanket up.

 

Harry rolled his eyes. _Don’t make me come over there._ “Knock knock”.

 

Suddenly Louis’ head rose from the pillow, eyes wide. “I’m up! I’m up!” He rubbed his eyes and gave a mean look at Harry, who just grinned wide. “What the fuck man, you scared the hell out of me”.

 

“You were afraid that I was gonna tell you a joke?” Harry asked, stressing each word like it was hard for Louis to hear.

 

“Yeah! Have you ever actually heard any of your jokes?” Louis huffed, shaking his head.

 

“Knock knock”, Harry started again, grinning.

 

“Who’s there?” Louis sighed and positioned himself better on the bed.

 

“Hula”.

 

“Hula who?”

 

Harry just looked at Louis, smiling, and bit his lip. For a while Louis looked back at Harry, but then shook his head and smiled back. “You’re terrible”.

 

“I know”.

 

An hour later, when the dishes were gone and Harry was watching TV, Louis carefully sat up. “M’gonna take a shower”.

 

“Without a nurse?” Harry frowned and turned his head to Louis, who was already sitting up on the edge of his bed.

 

“Yeah without a nurse. S’just a few broken ribs, m’sure I can take one shower by myself thank you very much”, Louis huffed and pushed himself off the bed. For a second Harry was sure he was going to fall back, but somehow he kept his balance, holding on to the rail of the bed. He was so tiny that Harry just wanted to snatch him in his pocket and run away.

 

Then Louis grabbed the hem of his blue hospital shirt, and slowly pulled it over his head revealing his tan torso. There were several tattoos on his upper body, too; a huge one saying _It Is What It Is_ in cursive and the number _78_ above his heart. He was _really_ fit for being so small. He was also so fucking lovely all around, but that was an entirely different topic. Louis could easily pin Harry on a bed and–

 

Louis caught Harry staring. “What?”

 

Harry flinched a little bit a turned red. “No I’m… m’just–” he frowned.

 

“Looking at these?” Louis asked and ran a finger across the tattoos.

 

_Actually I was looking at your muscles because you’re really fit and super hot and I kinda want to suck your dick to see what pretty noises you’d make._ “Yeah”.

 

“Yeah, well, uh, the number is the number of the house where my grandparents live”, Louis explained, looking a bit ashamed.

 

“Oh yeah? That’s really sweet”, Harry nodded and there was a little tiny smile on Louis’ face.

 

“Yeah, I love them…” Louis drifted off for a few seconds, before throwing the shirt on the bed and slowly taking a towel from the drawer under his nightstand. “And the big one, well, uh… I got it a few months after coming out to my parents. Four years ago”, he smiled shyly.

 

“Oh”, was the only thing Harry said. _Very good._

 

“Hope s’not a problem for you”, Louis said and went up to the bathroom door, glancing back at Harry.

 

“What? No, of course not”, he shook his head no before Louis shut the door behind him.

 

Oh man.

 

°°°

 

“I want to get some fresh air”, Louis declared the next day after lunch. Harry eyed him from behind his book, not sure if Louis had some kind of a stupid idea or if he was just frustrated. Louis looked back at Harry. “And if you tell me to open a window I swear I will fucking crush you once I get up from this bed”.

 

Harry was pretty sure he would get out of his bed sooner and faster than Louis. He lowered his paperback. “I wasn’t going to say that”.

 

Louis glanced at him. “Yeah, I know, m’sorry. S’just… this is getting fucking frustrating. Laying in bed all day”, he rubbed his face.

 

“I know”, Harry said and frowned, thinking. “We could go out, though. There’s a garden just outside the parlour”.

 

“And how the fuck are we supposed to get that far?” Louis asked dryly.

 

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I think I could push a wheelchair around”, Harry shrugged. It wouldn’t be so difficult since he could have some support from it.

 

“Well m’not going to sit in a fucking wheelchair that’s for sure”, Louis huffed.

 

“Okay, just stay here then”, Harry lifted the book and continued reading where he left off.

 

It was silent for a bit. “Okay for fuck’s sake. Let’s go”. Harry smiled and Louis glared at him.

 

Louis maneuvered himself into a wheelchair sitting in the corner of the room, and Harry pushed it out the door.

 

The corridor felt like it was never going to end, even though Harry saw the parlour from their door. There were some people sitting in the chairs watching TV as Harry and Louis passed them.

 

The day was gorgeous; the sun was shining and the occasional clouds sliding lazily across the sky prevented it from being too hot. The warm wind bent the flowers growing on the field on the other side of the fence and Harry had to swipe his hair behind his ear. From the corner of his eye Harry saw Louis looking at him, endeared.

 

He tried to shake it off as he sat down on a wooden chair and Louis rolling next to him. Harry had never been this close to Louis before. The wind carried his smell, green apple and something else. It made his heart race, he just wanted to stroke Louis’ hair, see if it’d be as soft as it looked like. He absolutely fancied Louis; quick-tempered, smirking, delicate Louis. So so tiny.

 

“You alright here, pal?” Louis asked looking back at Harry. He must’ve drifted off.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Just a bit tired I guess”, he shook his head in response.

 

“Good work on that walking thing”, he grinned and it was difficult to know whether he was mocking Harry or not. Louis took a deep breath, eyes closed. “It’s good to finally have some fresh air”.

 

“Yeah”, Harry sighed. There was so much he still didn’t know about Louis. “So, um, what do you do? Like, besides football”, he decided to ask.

 

“What? Oh, I… uh, I’m a temp at the local theater, kind of a summer boy, I s’pose”, Louis squinted his eyes.

 

“Really? That sounds cool, what do you do there?” Louis was definitely gaining more points in Harry’s books.

 

“Just… help with the setups, sometimes during the shows and keep the wardrobes in order. Cleaning, mostly”, there was a little sparkle in Louis’ eyes and Harry could see it.

 

“Do you like theatre?” he asked.

 

“Yeah, I really do. I wanted to be an actor when I was younger”, Louis sighed.

 

“And now?”

 

“Now? Yeah, I suppose…” Louis turned to look at Harry. “But I got football, s’great”.

 

Harry nodded and smiled. He was terrible at football and didn’t know anything about it so he decided to keep his mouth shut.

 

“So what about you? What do you do?” Louis asked in return.

 

“Me? I’m in uni, psychology major”, Harry’s eyes swept over Louis’ cheekbones and temples and tried to ignore how close he was.

 

“Psychology? What’s that like?” it seemed like Louis shifted closer every time he spoke.

 

“It’s… uhm, s’really interesting”, Harry frowned and tried to concentrate on not looking at Louis’ lips. “Studying people’s ways of thinking and such”. That was actually the worst description of psychology Harry had told anyone in a long time, but it was really hard to keep his thoughts together with Louis sitting right there next to him.

 

“So… where are you from originally?” Louis asked, he was inches away from Harry’s face.

 

“I’m, uh, I’m from Holmes Chapel. I moved here to go to uni”, he breathed. “And you?”

 

“Doncaster”, Louis said, and Harry was sure Louis was thinking what he was thinking, his chest felt hot. “Your eyes are really green”, Louis whispered, looking at Harry’s lips, which was a bit misleading, but Harry knew that this was actually going to happen.

 

Then, an old lady came out the door loudly with a nurse, complaining about the hospital’s food in a dry voice.

 

Louis and Harry flinched apart, flushed and both looking the other way. Five more seconds would’ve been enough. At that moment Harry didn’t have much good thoughts towards old ladies.

 

°°°

 

The day after that Niall and Zayn marched in the door like a newly wedded couple. They were all laughing and walking close to each other and that. It was good. Harry knew that Zayn would like Niall, who didn’t like Niall? And he knew, of course, that Niall already liked Zayn, so.

 

“...Yeah sounds cool, we have to do that sometime”, Zayn grinned at Niall fondly and Niall blushed. They were cute, Harry’s heart fluttered.

 

“Ay Harry, how are ye doin?” Niall took a seat next to Harry’s bed, dragging it a little bit closer.

 

“M’great, thanks. Been walking around the hospital all day. And… you?” Harry nodded and then glanced at Zayn as subtly as he could. Zayn and Louis were already deep in a conversation so neither of them noticed.

 

 “Oh, um. I called ‘im yesterday and we went out for a movie and a late night snack”, Niall couldn’t hold his smile. He was adorable.

 

“So…? How did it go? D’you like him?” Harry leaned forward for all the details and saw Niall blushing, a lot.

 

“Well, the movie was great and he put ‘is arm around me, he smells so good oh my god”, Niall covered his face with his palms, grinning widely. “And he’s really sweet and gentle and smart… and he can _draw_ you should see it’s really really cool”, his eyes were sparkling.

 

“I’m really happy for you, Niall. I really am”, Harry smiled and patted Niall’s knee. “So, did you…?” he wiggled his eyebrows at him.

 

Niall’s eyes widened. “Oh! No, no. Not yet, jesus”, he shook his head, blushing again. Harry just laughed.

 

“Don’t laugh at me you jerk!” Niall swatted at Harry’s hand. “But… what about you and him?” he asked looking at Louis, measuring.

 

Now it was Harry’s turn to blush. “S’nothing, really”, he glanced at Louis, too.

 

“Buddy your face tells me otherwise. Bring it on I want to hear”, Niall shook his head.

 

“No, s’not a big deal just… it’s nothing”, Harry looked down at his hands. It was nothing.

 

“Come on you fucking pussy, I told you now you tell me”, Niall grabbed Harry’s hand. He didn’t know why but it felt nice.

 

“Well, uh, I don’t know he’s… a bit out of my league I s’pose–”

 

“What the fuck man, literally no one in this world is out of your league just fucking look at yourself you’re gorgeous”, Niall frowned. Harry just stared at him. “Anyway, go on”, Niall rushed.

 

“I don’t know what you want to know, there’s not much to tell I mean… he’s really fit. Okay um, yesterday we were outside and I think we nearly kissed– but it can be just in my head I don’t know”, Harry had started doubting if they were even about to kiss, if it was just his imagination playing tricks on him.

 

“Harry, that’s much, that’s plenty”, Niall nodded and smiled. “I think you should get him”.

 

“Get him?” Harry lifted his eyebrows.

 

“Yeah, like, his number or something, for starters. You never know until you try but, like, if you have a good feeling about him just go with it. Trust yourself”, Niall squeezed Harry’s hand gently.

 

“When have you become such a deep thinker, Nialler? What has Zayn done to you?” Harry smirked.

 

Niall looked at Zayn. “Plenty…” So that was a bit weird. “But, anyway, I think you should keep that one. Even a blind man can see how he looks at you, not to mention he’s hot as fuck–”

 

“Heeeyyy, you already have one. That one is mine”, Harry hissed, but in the same time was blushing on the inside, because _Louis had been looking at him._

 

“That’s the spirit”, Niall grinned.

 

°°°

 

Harry opened his eyes to stare at the foot of his nightstand. It was dark. He had no idea what woke him up. He blinked a few times raising his head from his pillow and saw a little bit of light coming into the room from under the door. Harry moved his eyes into the blue digits under the TV screen. 2:36 am.

 

Then he heard a soft whimper from the bed beside him and moved his gaze to Louis lying in his bed, his arms tense, sleeping. For two seconds Harry thought of calling a nurse, before Louis’ head fell back, his mouth opened and he _moaned._ It took another two seconds until Harry realized what was going on. Oh dear.

 

Louis’ mouth closed and his head turned away from Harry. He groaned again and then whimpered. Only now did Harry see the bulge on the blanket. He took a deep breath and bit his lip. So this is what he woke up to.

 

Even though it was a little embarrassing to listen to Louis having a wet dream, the fact that it was so arousing overcame the thought of waking him up. For a while Harry just listened to it, trying to ignore the building pressure in his lower stomach. This was not the time or place. Still, every whimper shot a coil down Harry.

 

After a while he couldn’t hold himself back anymore, and slipped a hand down his pants, grabbing his length. Slowly he started to pump his fist, hating himself for doing this, and praying that no one would ever find out. Louis just sounded so, so gorgeous; lying in the bed, making small, soft noises. His pink lips were parted and his eyebrows frowned.

 

Louis was so lovely; his sharp cheekbones and thin lips, his curvy waist and dainty hands. He was so tiny but his eyes were like ice. He was like a fairy, he was like a poem waiting to happen. Louis was so so delicate and Harry just wanted to protect him and love him and he wanted to hold him and watch him sleep and so much more.

 

Louis was still whimpering and Harry pumped his fist faster, and was already seeing stars. It had been a while since he had been with anyone. Also had been a while since he had done _this,_ because in here he hadn’t been alone for five minutes. Harry bit his lip, tried not to make any sound. It was embarrassing how close he was, chasing his orgasm with every moan Louis made.

 

Then, he heard something that made his vision blacken; there was a whisper, barely audible, from Louis’ lips: _“Harry”._ Harry gasped for air and his whole body tensed for seconds, he had to bite his teeth together to not moan out loud. Then he could see properly again.

 

Louis’ dream was also steadying, with his whimpers becoming more and more sparse and his body relaxing. Harry shut his eyes and prayed no one would ever know.

 

°°°

 

The next day was a little bit awkward. Louis didn’t complain about anything, Harry didn’t make any jokes. Louis slept, Harry read and they watched TV. Harry knew why Louis was so quiet, and he hoped with his every last cell that Louis didn’t know why Harry was so quiet. And so they spent the day.

 

°°°

 

The day after that in came Zayn and Niall. All happy and blushy and giggly. It was so very cute, Harry thought. They matched so well, like yin and yang. Zayn being yin; all dark and mysterious and Niall as yang; pale and a total sunshine.

 

Niall sat down. “Zayn thinks I’m cute”. Harry was having a hard time interpreting Niall’s emotion.

 

“So that’s… good?” he threw a wild guess.

 

“Yes it’s good you moron. Although that’s not what I’m aiming at, but like, yeah”, he shrugged. “Oh! And we did it”.

 

Harry looked at Niall’s grin for a while before realizing what “it” meant. “Oh. Oh! Yeah, good, how was it?” _Was that too intrusive?_

 

“Fucking brilliant mate, best I’ve ever had”, Niall shook his head, still grinning.

 

“ _Really?_ Oh good for you, buddy!” Harry tried to keep his voice low while patting Niall’s knee.

 

“Thanks mate. Oh, what about you and Louis?” Niall patted Harry’s hand back.

 

“I’m lying in a hospital bed after an open heart surgery and you ask me how my _love life is going?_ You really have to sort out your priorities, man”, Harry tried to sound offended.

 

“Well, I can see you’re doing fine and your love life is way more interesting, also was that a Harry Potter quote?” Niall frowned.

 

“Yes it was thank you very much”, Harry crossed his arms carefully.

 

“So, tell me”, Niall wiggled his eyebrows at Harry.

 

“Don’t do that! There’s nothing to tell”, Harry could feel the red climbing up his chest, reaching his face.

 

“That’s what you said last time and you totally were going to kiss!” Niall slapped Harry’s bicep gently.

 

“Well, this time there is nothing to tell”, Harry hissed at Niall.

 

“Tell you what, mate. You got to make a move. That guy’s head over heels for you”, Niall glanced at Louis.

 

“Right, and you know that because suddenly you are the source of all wisdom and intuition?” Harry huffed.

 

“Because I’m basically dating his best friend. Look, don’t tell anyone I told you, but Louis told Zayn he’s crushing on you, big time”, Niall lowered his voice and leaned towards Harry.

 

“You’re just making that up”, Harry shook his head, but couldn’t help sneaking a glimpse of Louis.

 

“No! I’m not, I swear. Okay maybe not head over heels but like still he likes you a lot and I bet he wants you to _make the first goddamn move_ ”.

 

Harry looked at Niall, but there was no sign of lying on his face, and Harry was a psychology major for christ sake. So, he just nodded.

 

“Did he say anything else? About me, I mean”, Harry hated himself for asking. He knew he was pathetic, but he wanted to know. He _had_ to know.

 

“Um, I’m not sure. I guess ‘cause Zayn’s already fed up with it but, like, he didn’t tell me much. Just the thing I just told you”, Niall shrugged.

 

Harry would have to think about that. Actually, that was probably the only thing he could think about.

 

°°°

 

Poetry night. Right. _Spoken song lyrics but with less sense,_ as Louis had construed. Why was Harry crazy about him?

 

At quarter to six Harry pushed himself off the bed, brushed his hair and put it in a bun before leaving. As he came out of the bathroom, he caught Louis looking at him strangely. “What? Is there something on my face?” asked Harry wiping the corner of his mouth.

 

“No, no”, Louis shook his head gently. “I’ve… just never seen your hair like that, s’nice”, he nodded.

 

Harry smiled, teeth and all. “Thanks, fancy coming with?”

 

“To the song lyric convention?” Louis chuckled. “No, I’m quite alright, thank you”. He still didn’t take his eyes off Harry.

 

Harry shrugged. “Okay, whatever you say big guy”, he pushed the door open and left.

 

The corridor had been shortened since the first day of rehabilitation. Or at least it felt like it. Harry walked slowly to the parlour and took a seat in the back. The chairs had been moved into a semicircle around an armchair next to a small table. There were already about a dozen people sitting on the chairs. Harry had never seen this many people in the hospital at once. It was nice knowing there was life around him.

 

After a few minutes a thin woman in her thirties, in ripped skinny jeans and white hair sat down on the armchair. The ripple of conversation quieted as she crossed her legs and set the books on her lap.

 

“Hello everyone, my name is Lou Teasdale and I’m here today to share some poetry with you guys. First, let me tell you a little bit about why poetry is so important to me…” Harry drifted off for a bit while the woman told about her university studies and her job and hobbies which all surprisingly somehow involved arts and furthermore; poetry.

 

“So today I’ve brought here some of my favourite poets’ works. Let’s start with this masterpiece from Robert Frost himself…” and she started quoting. Even though she wasn’t as heartfelt as she tried to be, her quoting of poetry was brilliant. Harry had heard this one before, but not quite from this point of view.

 

“What a load of pretentious verbiage”, Harry almost jumped when he heard Louis’ lowered voice next to his ear. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you”.

 

“Louis, what are you doing here?” Harry whispered back.

 

“Well, I was bored so I thought might as well pop here to see what all the fuss is about”.

 

Harry grinned. _Of course you did._

 

Louis shoved Harry. “Stop grinning like an idiot, you’re wrong”.

 

“What? I didn’t even say anything!” Harry answered and couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. Some old lady in front of him turned around and lifted a finger across her lips. “Sorry”, Harry mouthed at her. Louis shook his head.

 

“The next one is one of my absolute favourites”, Lou said after a while. “It’s by Edgar Allan Poe, the man himself”, she opened a book from where there was an orange note.

 

“This is nonsense, do you actually like this?” Louis leaned in to whisper.

 

“Shh”, Harry mouthed and poked at Louis’ cheek with his finger. Louis turned to look at Harry. He was sure his eyelashes would brush his temple if Louis would come any closer.

 

Lou started quoting: _“Romance who loves to nod and sing, with drowsy head and folded wing…”_

 

Harry wanted to kiss Louis. He really did. He wanted to feel Louis’ stubble against his cheek and his hot breath on his lips. But all he could do was stare at Louis’ eyes, blue like ice. Louis didn’t back away. _Your eyes are really green._ Harry blinked, the wound on his chest felt like it was on fire. “Your eyes are really blue”, he said, and couldn’t help but to look at Louis’ parted lips, just for a second.

 

_“...To while away––forbidden things! My heart would feel to be a crime, unless it trembled with the strings”,_ everybody started clapping their hands, Harry jerked his head away from Louis and applauded.

 

°°°

 

That night Harry couldn’t sleep right away. The lights were out and it was quiet, but he couldn’t sleep. He had been lying on his bed for half an hour, just staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t help but think about kissing Louis; despite his earlier doubts he was now certain it wasn’t just in his head.

 

The thing was – Harry had never been really popular. Never at school, or at work or anywhere. He liked poetry and baking and Agatha Christie. He had always done his homework and helped others and been the nice kid. Once he drove for two hours searching for drunk Niall in the middle of the night to give him a lift home, on a night before an exam.

 

Louis was the total opposite; he was the popular guy. He had lots of friends and he played in the school football team, he got all the cheerleaders and gave teachers a hard time from the back of his seat. He was always invited to the parties and everyone loved him. Harry felt silly.

 

Suddenly, he heard a soft whisper coming from his right. _If Louis was gonna have another wet dream Harry would have to excuse himself for the rest of his life._ “Harry?”

 

“Yeah?” Harry frowned and whispered to the ceiling.

 

“You asleep?” it was like talking to an empty room, even though Harry knew it was Louis beside him whispering.

 

“No, I can’t sleep”, Harry answered keeping his voice as low as he could.

 

“Me neither”, said Louis. It was quiet for a bit, Harry waited. “Feels like I’ve been lying in this bed for ages. Like I haven’t even touched anyone for years”.

 

Yeah, Harry felt the same. “Do you want me to come over there?” he smirked in the dark.

 

He heard a pillow rustling as Louis turned his head to Harry. “Yes, please”. _Oh._

 

Harry looked back at Louis, his silhouette was staring at him. “I wasn’t serious”.

 

“Oh, okay”, Louis turned to look back at the ceiling.

 

“I mean I… I can come if you want?” Harry blushed in the dark. _Please say yes I’m an idiot._

 

“Oh, no, s’okay”, Louis’ voice was barely audible.

 

Harry gathered his strength. “I’m coming over there”, he said and carefully shifted the blanket to the side, his feet touching the cold floor.

 

“Good”, he heard Louis say, before slowly shifting to the side of his bed to make some room for Harry.

 

Harry stood up quietly and walked over to Louis, before climbing to his bed. The sheets were warm as he positioned himself next to Louis – their bodies pressed together, legs intertwined, resting his head on Louis’ collarbone.

 

He heard Louis sigh and squeezed his eyes shut. He felt Louis’ heartbeat, almost as quick as his own. How did he end up here? Louis smelled so good. Harry bit his lip. Louis turned his head to press his nose into Harry’s hair, and shifted his hand onto Harry’s waist. He closed his eyes and snuggled closer to Louis.

 

Right now his heart was fluttering, he wanted to hug Louis, he wanted to kiss him, he wanted to keep him. The moment was so intimate, so quiet. He felt like crying. _Honey I’m home._

 

He put his hand on Louis’ chest and gently clutched his shirt. He didn’t want anything else, just this moment on repeat.

 

“I’ve never met anyone like you, y’know”, Louis said quietly into Harry’s hair.

 

“What d’you mean?” Harry whispered back, scared of breaking the moment.

 

“I mean that you’re so– nice, and gentle…” Harry lifted his head to look up at Louis. “...and lovely–”, Louis whispered and swiped Harry’s hair behind his ear. “And gorgeous”. Harry lifted his hand from Louis’ chest and stroked his cheek. His heart fluttered as he reached for Louis’ face. “And did I mention a huge dork?” Louis whispered, grinning.

 

“Oh, shut up”, Harry chuckled before pressing his lips on Louis’ mouth and finally, _finally_ kissing him, head spinning, chest clutching. He felt Louis pulling him closer and kissing him back. It was sloppy, they couldn’t get it quite right from all the shifting and breathing. Harry was trying to get closer to Louis, to close the nonexistent space between them, when he exclaimed and flinched. It was over before it even started.

 

“What? Oh my god I’m so sorry”, Harry withdrew himself away from Louis, who was gasping for air. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have come”, he quickly jumped away from Louis’ bed and climbed back to his own.

 

“No, no, it’s fine it’s just– agh!” sweat had risen on Louis’ forehead and he was grimacing and holding his side.

 

“I’m gonna call a nurse”, Harry said, switching on the lights.

 

“No, no, it’s okay m’just–” Louis gasped and his eyes squeezed close. Harry slammed the emergency call button, his heart was racing.

 

“Okay, it’s okay. Louis, just listen to me, listen to my voice, the nurse is going to come at any second now and then you’ll feel better okay? Just listen to my voice, it’s gonna be okay, just breathe–” Harry’s voice was trembling.

 

“Harry?! What– what’s... h– happening? I– I can’t– brea… the! _Harry!_ ” Louis cried out loud and Harry didn’t notice he was crying too, before he felt something hot rolling down his jaw.

 

_“Louis–”_

 

Two nurses stormed in, seeing Louis they hurried up to him. The other one checked his pupils as the other held him down. “He’s in shock, quick, get him into the operating room”, the nurse said and they steered the bed out of the room. “You did the right thing calling us, this is critical”, the nurse said to Harry.

 

He didn’t get much sleep that night.

 

°°°

 

The next morning Harry woke to Doctor Payne entering the room like nothing had happened. “Good morning Mr. Styles, I have some very good news for you. Based on your most recent test results and your steady progress in rehabilitation we are able to demobilize you today”, the doctor smiled at Harry, who just looked at him, baffled. The events of yesterday and the lack of sleep made his head a little fuzzy. “You are going home, today”, the doctor cleared. _No, I don’t want to, I want to stay here with Louis._

 

“Ah, thanks”, Harry nodded. “When exactly?”

 

“Right after you’ve signed these few forms. Then you are free to go. Take your time and drop these in the office on your way out”, Liam set some papers and a pen on Harry’s nightstand. “Have a pleasant day, Mr. Styles. Hopefully we don’t see each other any time soon”.

 

The doctor was about to leave, when Harry opened his mouth: “Wait, wait”, Liam turned around, white coat swinging. “What happened to Louis? Is he okay?”

 

Liam’s smile vanished, he looked at Harry for a little bit before answering. “Mr. Tomlinson had to be operated immediately after his rib had perforated his left lung. The operation was difficult and he’s now in a critical condition”.

 

_No, oh my god, Louis. Not Louis._ “Will he be okay?” Harry felt his hand shaking.

 

“Only time can tell”, the doctor turned around to leave.

 

“When can I see him?” Harry raised his voice, desperate. He felt like a little child who was not told the whole truth.

 

“You are quite fond of Mr. Tomlinson I can tell, leave your contacts in the office and they will contact you as soon as Mr. Tomlinson’s condition stabilizes, and we hope that it will”, with that, the doctor left.

 

_Oh Louis. Tiny Louis. Harry’s Louis._

 

Harry rubbed his face, sat up and started reading the forms. After signing all of them, he took a shower, got dressed in some clean clothes Niall had brought him, brushed his teeth and took off.

 

In the office he gave his papers to the secretary, who eyed them quickly and put them away. “Thank you for staying with us Mr. Styles, and I hope we won’t see you again soon”, the man smiled at him automatically.

 

“Um, one more thing”, Harry said, and the man looked at him tiredly. “Can you contact me when I can visit Louis Tomlinson?”

 

The man sighed and tapped something into the computer. “Sure thing”.

 

“Thanks”. Harry walked out of the hospital, but he certainly wasn’t feeling any better.

 

°°°

 

There was no word from Louis. Not the next day, next week, not even in two weeks. Harry had tried everything; he had called the hospital but they wouldn’t give him the information, he didn’t have Liam Payne’s phone number and even when he visited the hospital in rehabilitation they wouldn’t give him any information from the office, because he couldn’t prove he was family. He didn’t even have Zayn’s number and he and Niall had gotten into a fight so Niall refused to ask Zayn if Louis was okay.

 

Harry carried Louis in his mind, it was frustrating not knowing anything. Louis could be dead for all he knew – okay not dead he would’ve heard _that_ through Niall but… he just wanted to tell Louis that he was sorry even if it meant that Louis wouldn’t want to see him again.

 

Sitting at home, Harry had had enough time to think. He was now sure that it was his fault that Louis’ had been sent to the surgery in the middle of the night. If Harry hadn’t climbed into his bed Louis would be okay. So he blamed himself for it.

 

Niall, of course, got the chance to say _I told you so_ because Harry didn’t have Louis’ phone number, and no other connections to him whatsoever. Then Niall said something ingenious: “Send him a card or whatever”. _A card._ Why hadn’t Harry thought of that?

 

That day he rushed to the nearest florist. The sun was shining and the smell of rain was in the air. Harry asked the woman at the florist’s to gather up a dozen white roses and picked the prettiest card he saw. He wrote: _To while away––forbidden things! My heart would feel to be a crime, unless it trembled with the strings._

 

_All the love,_

_Harry x_

 

The woman attached the card to the roses and wrapped them up. “This must be for a very special someone”, she said and smiled at Harry.

 

“Yeah”, Harry sighed and smiled back. “It is”.

 

Then he hurried back to the hospital’s lobby with the flowers. The same man was sitting there again, the one who had been there every time Harry had asked for Louis. “Hi, can you take these to–”

 

“Louis Tomlinson? That would be my pleasure”, the man was a little bit more friendly today. Harry smiled at him.

 

°°°

 

A week later Harry and Niall were playing FIFA at Harry’s flat. Niall had insisted coming over, since he hadn’t heard from Harry in a while and because Zayn’s was going to pick him up later and Harry’s place was a lot closer than Niall’s. Harry had been against it, but Niall had basically walked in the door.

 

The day was beautiful but Harry didn’t feel like going out. He had had very little to do these past weeks. It was summer holiday and all so he didn’t even have any studying to do.

 

“So you’ve settled things with Zayn, then?” Harry asked Niall, staring at the players running around on the TV.

 

“Yeah, yeah”, Niall answered absently, he had been checking his watch every five minutes.

 

“S’good, you okay?” Harry took his gaze off the screen for a second to glance at Niall.

 

“Yeah, ‘course, mate”, Niall said keeping his eyes on the TV.

 

After another thirty minutes of watch-checking, the buzzer rang. Niall jumped and paused the game. “That must be Zayn”, he got up and looked around in the flat.

 

“You alright man? Have you lost something?” Harry frowned and put the game away.

 

“No, no, s’just…” Niall shook his head, then walked over to Harry’s kitchen. He looked around and took a glass of water. Harry got up and followed Niall to the kitchen door and crossed his arms on his chest. Niall was putting his glass in the dishwasher among the other dishes from the sink. Then he looked at Harry, _swiped some crumbs off of him and went to organize the remote controls and magazines on Harry’s coffee table into a neat pile._

 

The buzzer rang again. “Yeah yeah”, Niall said to himself.

 

“Niall, mate, what’s going on?” Harry asked hesitant.

 

“Oh! Nothing, I’m just gonna go now”, Niall grabbed his jacket and opened the door.

 

“Have a good time, with Zayn”, Harry came over to the door and Niall was already in the staircase.

 

“Yeah, thanks”, he heard as the buzzer rang again next to his door. He pressed the button down: “Yeah ‘es coming”, he said into the speaker and closed the door.

 

He didn’t get very far from it when there was a knocking. Harry turned to look at the door and just stared for a long time. Another knocking and he walked back up to it and put his hand on the handle. He opened the door and his jaw dropped.

 

“Hi Harry”, said Louis, wearing a white shirt and grey Adidas sweatpants. He was holding a card on his tiny hand. _Harry’s_ card. Harry’s heart fluttered and his head was buzzing, like when you stand up too quickly.

 

“Louis… oh my god, hi, hey”, Harry stuttered as Louis leaned in to hug him. Harry put his arms around Louis and just squeezed as hard as he dared. Louis snuggled his head onto Harry’s collarbones. 

 

“You’re really tall”, Harry heard Louis’ muffled voice.

 

“You’re really not”, he chuckled in return. “How did you get here?”

 

“Zayn dropped me off and Niall opened the front door for me”. _Of course they did._

 

“So… are you out, now?” Harry dared to ask.

 

“Yeah, yeah I am”, Louis answered his head still in Harry’s neck.

 

They were quiet for a little bit, just holding each other. Louis felt so soft and so little and Harry felt like a giant. He closed his eyes and hoped he could hold Louis forever. Then Louis opened his mouth again: “You sent me flowers”.

 

“Yeah”.

 

“You sent me a card with a poem”, Louis continued, his arms were wrapped tightly around Harry’s waist. Harry felt like crying again.

 

“Yeah”.

 

It was quiet for a little bit longer. Harry pressed his nose in Louis’ hair, the scent of green apple was stronger.

 

“Why?” Louis asked.

 

“Because I– ‘cause…” the words got stuck somewhere in Harry’s throat and he had to swallow, he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know. All he knew was how very deeply he cared for Louis.

 

“Yeah…” Louis said and lifted his fluffy head to look up at Harry. “Me too”, then he got on his tiptoes and kissed Harry. Properly this time. On Harry’s front door. And Harry kissed him back and he pulled Louis in his lap and he kissed him. He kissed the hell out of him because no matter how stupid and childish and pathetic it sounded, he was in love with Louis. He loved Louis to bits and he knew it now. Now, when he was finally holding him and he was so tiny and so soft and so so lovely. Louis didn’t need flowers, he was a flower.

 

Louis pulled back just enough to see Harry’s eyes. “The poem, how did it go?”

 

“What?” Harry frowned.

 

“Quote it to me”, Louis bit his lip and didn’t let go of Harry.

 

_“My heart would feel to be a crime, unless it trembled with the strings”,_ and Louis kissed him again. And again, and again.

 

°°°

 

**Romance**

 

_Romance, who loves to nod and sing,_

_With drowsy head and folded wing,_

_Among the green leaves as they shake_

_Far down within some shadowy lake,_

_To me a painted paroquet_

_Hath been—a most familiar bird—_

_Taught me my alphabet to say—_

_To lisp my very earliest word_

_While in the wild wood I did lie,_

_A child—with a most knowing eye._

 

_Of late, eternal Condor years_

_So shake the very Heaven on high_

_With tumult as they thunder by,_

_I have no time for idle cares_

_Through gazing on the unquiet sky._

_And when an hour with calmer wings_

_Its down upon my spirit flings—_

_That little time with lyre and rhyme_

_To while away—forbidden things!_

_My heart would feel to be a crime_

_Unless it trembled with the strings._

 

_Edgar Allan Poe_

 

**Author's Note:**

> hope u liked it tho;) leave kudos and comment and everything all the love x
> 
> you can find me on instagram (erikareivala) or tumblr (ysl-harry)


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